I'm Fucking Matt Damon by Sarah Silverman

I had to post it here because it's hilarious! :)

The "retirees' in public transportation syndrome" ...

... is international. Those of you who use the public transport system (and now I'm mixing British and American English, have you noticed that? :)) often know what I'm talking about. People seated comfortably suddenly start to stand up and leave their seats and move to the doors, despite the fact that they still have way too much time before the tram/bus/train/trolley-bus (pretty much anything that moves people from point A to point B) actually stops. I call it the "retirees' in PT syndrome" because it usually applies to a certain population group. Guess which one :)
It's ok when the vehicle is empty enough so that everyone can sit and there's enough space for the ones who need to be at the doors first to move there. It isn't ok when the vehicle is crowded and you yourself don't have any space around you where you could move to let those people go where they want.
Of course, as a Brno student, I have this experience from there (I think I coined the term in one of the Brno trams - and I admit that there might have been people before me using the term, I just don't know about them :)). In Stellenbosch, there was no public transport in the town. But in Pittsburgh, there is. Probably not the best one in the world but it is here and I've actually already used it three times (plus this one time when we used the CMU shuttle but I think it doesn't count :))! And the very first time I had the opportunity to see that the syndrome mentioned above is truly international! It made me laugh and get angry at the same time. The bus was really crowded and these people moving... without actually leaving the bus really drive me crazy. Am I supposed to become a bat or something and get to the roof?? Like how - really - do they think this can work? I mean... it always works for them, but I just hate it... :) Anyway, it's funny to see that it's international. And it's also funny to see that the word "retiree" in the name of the syndrome isn't really accurate sometimes... No, it actually isn't funny, it's sad. But it's better to laugh at those people and not cry, right? So let's join in the struggle and laugh at them every time they do it again! :)))

No sleep, flying with Delta and my luggage didn't get lost... and other flying-related stories :)

So... I left the Czech Republic on Monday. And it was loooooooong. Actually, I woke up at around 11 am on Sunday, then went to Brno at night where I stayed with Linda and John for the last time (thank you, guys! also for the gifts!) and didn't go to bed at all, then took a bus to Prague at 5 am, got to Prague... my plane to Atlanta was leaving at 11:10 am. And the flight was very long - something between 11 and 12 hours, I think. I didn't sleep because I simply can't sleep... bus, plane, whatever, I can't fall asleep when it lasts more than one hour :) Then I was waiting in Atlanta and started to feel really sick... I was in Pittsburgh at about 2 am (Czech time) on Tuesday. Didn't sleep all the time...
So, how was the flight? It wasn't that bad as I was lucky enough to meet interesting people. I think I don't like airports because they involve waiting... Planes aren't much better, though, because they involve waiting concentrated to much smaller space. I didn't even have a window seat, which I always take despite the fact I'm never sure if I really want it. They didn't ask me so I couldn't choose. At least I didn't get the middle seat. They are the worst. (Also I was lucky on the bus to Prague as there was nobody sitting next to me. :))
So the flight from Prague to Atlanta, as I have probably already told you (I'm to lazy to check if I did :)), took about 11 hours and 20 minutes. I was sitting next to a Czech guy on whom I probably didn't make the best impression at first. But he didn't make the best impression on me at first either, so we both had the same start. :) He turned out to be a very interesting person, although I can't say I agreed with everything he said, and as I can't sleep on planes, we talked pretty much all the way to Atlanta, which is quite amazing. I mean - he slept for about an hour, then we both read for a while and also watched the Greenland. But still, we did talk a lot and since he was a very smart and educated guy, it was interesting. He himself told me before we said bye to each other on the plane, that he never spent the whole flight talking to somebody. :)

So I got to Atlanta where the immigration officers were waiting... not for me but for the hundreds and hundreds of people coming to the US via this point. In the queue, I met another intersting guy who was from South Africa. He just arrived from Mexico where he was selling safaris in Africa. He was going to do the same in the US. He told me he goes to the US often and doesn't like it mainly because of the immigration officers. I told him that I was going to make the bold tough-looking officer smile and he didn't believe me. So what do you think? Of course I made him smile. :) I don't even know how... Maybe it's the fact that people usually come to them nervous, whereas I don't care. They're only people... :) So after a short talk, some fingerprints (which I had to do twice because he didn't pay attention :)) and a photograph I got a stamp saying that I can stay here until August the 17th. So I don't even have to go to Canada. :)

Then I picked up my luggage again, left it somewhere again... and started to feel really sick as a result of which I made an idiot of myself by asking a silly question... Anyway - I really didn't know where to go and stuff, so I asked this guy who told me, laughing, that I'm a smart girl after I repeated what he said to make sure I got it. :) He apologized then because he could see that I wasn't feeling well, but it didn't matter because I thought he was nice anyway. :)

So I went through another security check (these make me think about buying a new laptop bag since the one I have makes the checks very annoying :)) And then I started to feel even worse... Fortunately, I was better before I was getting on the plane to Pittsburgh so I survived this flight too. And again - I was very lucky. Next to me, there was a young lady with a 5-month old daughter and they were both so nice. I really liked talking to her and playing with the little girl who was amazing because she didn't cry at all the whole time! I even talked to her parents at the airport which was kind of weird, because her dad was telling me his parents were from Czechoslovakia, but he didn't know where from... Also, I was a witness to a very heartbreaking scene when I was on the train that takes people at airports from one part of the airport to another. There was an American family (and in this case it was a very fat one) trying to catch the train; however, the only member of the family who made it on the train was a little girl (about ten years old, who wasn't that fat :))... Then the door closed and she was inside and the rest of her family outside. There were some nice people who tried to make her stop crying and helped her, but she did look scare.

So, I made it to Pittsburgh. And, believe it or not, Jirka was waiting there for me. :) And it was nice, although I was really exhausted. So we took a taxi because it was faster and I didn't see much of Pittsburgh on the way because it was dark. And I fell asleep almost immediately.

And that's all I have to say about the flight and related stories :)

THE TOUR: Day 12 - Northern Namibia

Another early morning followed by a game drive to a place where lions were supposed to have giraffe for dinner the day before. We saw none, of course.
We left Etosha on day 12 and headed for Rundu. Our home for the following two nights was Nkwazi Lodge, about 20 kilometres from Rundu. We stopped in Rundu to do some shopping and I didn't like the town at all... Children begging, pocikpocketing, being agressive...
On the way to the campsite we saw a lot of local villages. They looked nice, but writing that, I'm very much aware of the fact that the life there isn't easy at all. What I mean when I say that they looked nice is that they looked so natural as if the 21st century didn't have any impact on them (but really... there are so many places in the world untouched by the modern society...). The life there is rather sad. One village = one family. But you only see women in the villages, with kids, as the men go to the towns to find a job. The women often don't know at all when the men are coming back, or if they're going to bring any money...
The campsite, ironically enough after driving through the villages, was very nice. There were horses, which was nice, but not when you stepped into "something" left there by the horses... Which happened to me, of course. Cleaning shoes without hot water is rather hard but I managed, all I needed was some twigs and leaves... and cold water :).
The campsite was by the river and it had a very nice bar. If you swam across the river, you'd get to Angola. We didn't do this, though.
We spent the whole afternoon in the campsite relaxing. We went for a walk with Jill and then at around 6 pm we went to the bar to see some "local dancing display" (that's how it was called). It was fun, especially when Jirka and some other people were "forced" to join the locals and dance with them. :) They also sang which was, of course, beautiful.
Later, we taught Jill one card game which even I'm able to play :), but the sand in our eyes and noses did its job as we fell asleep quite soon...

PS: The photos will probably come later as a photo album on Picassa web. I have to find the dvd with my pictures first :)

The Darjeeling Limited (The Official Trailer)

Rita: What's wrong with you?
Jack: Let me think about that. I'll tell you the next time I see you.

Jack: I wrote the ending of this short story. I don’t know how it starts, but, do you want to hear it?

Plus you could read this interview, it's actually very funny.

Mr. Magorium 's Wonder EmporiumTrailer

Kool and the Gang - Celebrate (1980)

One of the videos I decided to add to complete my post about celebrations :)

Celebrate good times, come on! :)

This song (Celebration) just came to my mind when I decided to write this post. So... I passed the state exams and got another BA (and this time - no resits needed :)). When people ask me: "So, how did you celebrate?" I say that I didn't celebrate. It actually took me about 2 days to tell my parents that I passed... It's just the feeling I always have that it's over and that there's no need to talk about it anymore. However... When I came home on Wednesday, I realized that all I did for the last week or so was just one big celebration. :) But I prefer to say that I celebrated life... or the good times? :)

So... the last day of the state exams was Friday, February 1st. All I wanted then was to sleep as much as I could. This didn't happen because of some not so good things that happened instead the day after. My birthday, by the way, the worst ever, I think. I went to a ball on that day and believe me or not - I didn't want to drink... And I can tell you that I wouldn't have drunk if the February 2nd hadn't been such a bad day... But it was and when I got to the ball I just needed a drink. Or two... It was much more but it was so much fun in the end! So that's how it started.
Then the week passed, somehow, and on Friday evening, Iwent out with three girlfriends for coffee, pancakes and some non-alcoholic cocktails. It was fun, too.

Saturday - a concert in Hranice. Sunday - an afternoon movie with my nieces and L., then a walk to the pond to see if there are some swans (they were there and I promised Marketka that we'd fo again and feed them some bread as - in her words - "it's going to be so much fun" :)). Then we got home and then an evening movie with L. I really liked both of the movies. It was Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium with Dustin Hoffman and Natalie Portman (the movie's website looks like the movie... :)) which was very relaxing. And then Medvidek, a very typical Czech movie about relationships, I'd say. I like those movies.

What else... On Tuesday I went to Brno, to get my plane ticket and also, mainly, to see some of my friends for the last time before I leave. So I spent hours (as always, we never run out of things to talk about :)) with Ivca starting with lunch, then coffee, honey cake (medovnik), tea, another tea, a walk... Then I went to see Zu in her (and her boyfriend's) new place, so I met her boyfriend and her dog for the first time and I was really happy to see her. And then I went for dinner with Linda and John to a very fancy restaurant (for which I wasn't appropritely dressed at all, but after a second or third glass of wine, I didn't care that much :)). The food was delicious, the place was very nice and we even got roses (from John :)). I ate frog's legs for the first time and didn't find it that special but the rest of the food was just delicious!
And then we ran to the movies because we forgot about time and we wanted to see The Darjeeling Limited. We missed the beginning... But the movie was just amazing! I loved, it was nice, kind, very funny, relaxing... (I also like Adrien Brody very much :)). It was really good as I have no idea what we were going to see (Linda sent me the IMDb link before but I hadn't paid much attention to it as I didn't understand why she sent it to me :)) and I wasn't expecting anything. And this was just the best surprise I could get!

We got home late and tired but with the best feeling of the wonderfully spent day. At least I did. :) And the next morning was very nice too as there was breakfast waiting for us prepared by John.

So... to sum up... THANK YOU, MY DEAR FRIENDS for spending the time with me and for being who you are!

Presidential Election - the Czech way :)

So we were supposed to have presidential elections today. I mean - we are having them right now. I'm not going to write who should win and stuff like that, I just think it's funny. All our MPs (I think they are all there), the former president and the guy who'd like to get his job :), they all gathered together to vote... (only the MPs are voting, of course :)). They did so in the morning and up to now, they haven't even agreed on how they should vote. So they're just talking, talking, talking... about nothing most of the time, I don't think anyone can listen to it (well, my grandmother was listening to it, it woke me up...), the president has probably used about 20 pens as he seems to be drawing pictures because it's probably really boring to sit there (he might also be making notes, I don't know :)), the new guy is going to have problems with his neck soon as he's turned to the people speaking while he's pretending (can anyone really be listening to them all day??) that he's listening to them...
But... the reason why I'm writing this is this: I watched it on TV for about 10 minutes and one picture really made me laugh and explained everything - our minister of foreign affairs - Karel Schwarzenberg - sitting with the rest of the current government (and some other people) just behind the presidential candidates and the people speaking and... he's SLEEPING! And you get that with the presidential election LIVE on TV :))) Hehe, I think the rest of the people wish they could fall asleep (he's said to be able to fall asleep anywhere but still be able to know what's going on).

So here you go, here comes the picture that perfectly illustrates the process of choosing the "head" of our country:


PS: Honestly, I don't care much who's going to win. I just hope that next time, it's gonna be, finally, only a presidential election and not a club of silly people fighting over nothing... Who wants to have that on TV the whole day? :)

a visit to a children’s home...

Another thing I wrote a long time ago, but it’s worth sharing. Sorry for mistakes and so on, but I don’t want to read it again. :)

So I was to a children’s home. I told you about this thing that Cesky Rozhlas organizes for kids from children’s homes... Based on that I bought some toys last year and took them to this children’s home (it’s close to my hometown, so I thought I could go there and just give it to them...) So I did, and last year, it was ok, I arrived quite late, they didn’t have time to show me around, which was just the best way. I mean – I don’t do these things to look good in front of the children! I don’t need them to say thank you, I just want them to be happy...

Anyway, we went there last week, on Friday, with my friend. And we ended up in a 2-hour long monologue... (Ok, to be honest, we said, from time to time, something like “sure”, “yes” or something like that... :)) The monologue was led, from the biggest part, I’d say, by the head of the institution (and for a while also by another man working there). It was so awkward (as much as this word looks awkward :))!!! I just want you to know how you can end up if you’re trying to be good, that’s why I share this story with you here :)

Imagine... You come somewhere, brought by goodwill :), you just want to give what you have, without being thanked to, without being told how nice it is of you, and you get stuck there in a situation absolutely uncomfortable, that makes you stop wanting to do anything nice again. We were told, about ten times, that people always remember the kids during Christmas time as if they didn’t exist for the rest of the year... “But of course we’re happy for anything and we aren’t ungrateful!” Ehm... You’re sitting there and you don’t know what to say, because it’s kinda directed at you, but it isn’t really, and you just don’t care because it’s bull*hit... I’m obviously a student... Those of you who know me know that I look younger than I really am. My friend, although older than me, doesn’t make the impression of a filthy rich person who could be giving money to anyone less fortunate every single day, but doesn’t do so because she’s too lazy to do that... She is not!!! So – why was he telling us? If he really had to say something, this wasn’t really the best thing to be said...

Then, we heard hundreds of complaints on everything. The children, the parents, the laws, and yes, of course, all these businessmen who don’t care about kids when it isn’t Christmas (And here – if somebody gives an institution like this money in December, does it really make such a big difference? Is the money worth less? I know they need money pretty much always, but they don’t have to spend them all in December, right?) I’m so sorry I have to say that but both the men were more feminine then I’d like... And to my surprise, the complaints on the children were just so silly – I’m sure they have to deal with serious stuff so often... But to complain about the kids from these institutions that they don’t know the value of anything and that it’s because they’re staying there... I’m not saying he didn’t have some good arguments, he did. But when you look around, you can see that it’s a general problem nowadays, it isn’t just THEM (just making them different for one more reason, which isn’t even true). And then the other guy said, talking about clothes and brand names etc.: “Oh, at home, I already gave up telling my kids that they don’t need to wear everything “branded”... My son is 20 and he’s got his salary, but still...” I was just thinking – wow, that’s so nice of you that you don’t tell your adult son what he should and shouldn’t wear.... And here again – that probably results from his job. I can’t imagine my mom would take somebody she had never seen before into my room, without my permission, and telling them “just come here, have a look” – but they did and we were kinda forced into it... I must say that I didn’t like it because I wouldn’t like it if it was me... I mean – some of the kids are about 15, they need some privacy, no people walking into their rooms as they please... The intention was probably good, I don’t know, the outcome was not.

And I think I could go on and on and my friend would definitely add some more things too. It isn’t that I don’t want to do anything like that again... It’s just that next time, I’ll rather mail them everything, to prevent myself from getting into such weird situations... Also, they kinda think that every outsider coming there must be shocked at what they see, surprised, seeing something extremely sad and terrible... At least that’s what I got from their talks (and I must admit I wasn’t paying much attention sometimes :)). It is sad, of course, but not what you see – the story behind each child who has to be there is sad, but the place as such is quite nice. And what makes them think that we have never been to places which are so much worse? Seen situations which are so much more terrible? Is the rest of the world only people who have everything, live nice and comfortable lives and help them during Christmas time to make themselves feel better? It doesn’t really matter, I guess... And well, the whole message of this very long post is this: they gave us both a ‘wonderful’ headache. :) And if you ever go to this place, be prepared for the same, because it seemed to me as a regularly given lecture to anyone who wants to help. ;)

PS: L. – thank you for driving me there and back ;)

THE TOUR: The guides and Harrison

I wrote this a long time ago and so I don’t remember what’s there... But I don’t want to read it again. :)

I decided to tell you something about our guides and Harrison today. :) The guides were, in general, nice people. There were three of them, I think I named them somewhere, but I don’t want to do it again, so I’ll do it this way – there were two men W and J and a woman named H. :) And don’t worry, I’ll tell you only the interesting things (i.e. things I find interesting :)).

Let’s start with W. He was the main guide, the head of the tour. He was, I think, 26, but if you were to believe all his drunken stories, you’d have to believe he actually started to work (as pretty much anything, the more violence involved, the better :)) at the age of 13... During the day, he was ok, seemed to be quite organized (concerning things that mattered to me, not his paper work :)) and an excellent cook. Seriously, what he was able to prepare in such conditions was unbelievable and everything was so good that probably everyone put on weight there. :) And he’d always come to the back of the truck and say “Ok guys, welcome to... the toilets are over there...” :) Also, he’d always say a sentence that Jill hated (she actually told me that there’s a certain type of people who say this and that you can tell if they’re going to say it just from the way they look :)) – “Is there any questions?” So that was W during the day... Then came dinner time and after he was done with dinner and with telling us the plan for the next day, he’d disappear... to the bar... He was able to spend more than 100 US$ each night on drinks. And he’d get drunk a lot, which, as people said, had several stages involving dancing, singing (sometimes racist songs), taking his clothes off and, finally, being seriously stupid, trying to hit or hurt people (in the way “hey, pretend you wanna attack me with a knife”) and saying stupid things, mostly racist... He was always talking about bar fights in Swakop, bar fights in Zimbabwe, with him being involved in each one of them, of course, telling us that if somebody is bothering us, we had to tell him, he has “his people” there... In fact, he never did anything and when we arrived at the “dangerous” places, he’d be always friends with the locals. We had actually known about him before we met him. Our friend, Marie, went on a different tour with the same company and when she got back we met her in our backpackers. And she told us about this guide with a funny name who was very good but not very professional in certain ways, such as drinking too much and sleeping with girls who are on the tour... :) That was the same guide who went on the tour with us then and Marie was right with everything :)

Then there was J, the driver (he hated when somebody called the truck “a bus” – he’d always say angrily “Do I look like a bus driver?”). He was, in my opinion, amazing. He was a very good and fast driver (so we got everywhere much earlier than the itinerary said) and he knew so much about animals. I think he was originally from Namibia or Botswana, lived on a farm and than worked for national parks for years (he was 35). And he was the funniest person ever when he got drunk. The complete opposite of W. He’d dance with his glass in his hand, but it was the funniest dance I’ve ever seen... He was kinda jumping like an antelope or something, bouncing from one wall to another... And he’d make animal noises that made you think if it was him, or a real animal. He told us so much interesting stuff about animals, took an elephant poo to the truck to show us how it burns and smells... And on the way back to Jo’burg, he stopped the truck when there were some, like three of four, elephant standing next to the road. First, we were wondering what he was doing and thinking that it’s a picture stop (but it didn’t really make sense because at that point, nobody would bother anymore to get a picture of an elephant... :))... The next thing we saw was J running towards the elephants, stopping about 2 meters behind one of them and roaring at them so loudly that we could hear it inside the truck... We thought he was crazy and so did the elephants, I guess, as they all ran away immediately. :)

And H, the rose between the thorns. :) Hm, she was there as the interpreter/translator for the Germans on the tour. I don’t speak German but it seemed to me sometimes that the English-speaking Germans had to help her from time to time. She was older than the guys and nice and friendly... But there’s nothing very special I’d remember about her. Just that she was scared of wildlife which is kinda funny considering the kind of tour we were on. :)

And Harrison, the truck. Reliable, I guess, but so noisy that I was afraid sometimes that it was going to fall apart completely. :) Harrison was, however, surprisingly comfortable. It had a cooler and a little table and also a safe called Charlie (which broke... and from which we almost lost some passports and money :) – that’s how safe it was :)) And it had all the equipment needed for cooking, plus little chairs... everything was there! Talking about cooking... and dishes... We washed our dishes after every meal, but we did so, usually, in water which was rather cold. You can’t imagine what happens after about 15 people washed their dishes dirty from sauce and stuff in the cold water... You think you can, but I had thought so too until I saw it and had to put my hands in it and then had to eat using the dishes again. :) During the second half of the tour, looking for a seemingly clean cup for morning tea was an inseparable part of breakfast (and notice that I’m saying “seemingly” – nothing was really clean :)). However... who cared? We slept in tents full of sand, lived wearing clothes full of sand, Harrison was always full of send, sometimes so much that you couldn’t see almost :)... dirty dishes? You really develop immunity to all the possible viruses that could live there. :) I liked Harrison, although it torn Jirka’s pants and broke an annoying German woman’s head (or was it J’s driving? :))... It’s funny how one develops a personal relationship with a car/truck when the car/truck has a name. :) (All the trucks belonging to this company have a name... And all are named after a dead rockstar.)

THE TOUR: Day 11 - Etosha National Park

Our Etosha adventure continued the next day. The morning was devoted to a game drive again, but not a good one as we didn't see much. However, it was not boring as one of the annoying German ladies broke her head. Not that I would wish her anything bad, I did feel sorry for her when she fell down and hit her head and all that. But... When you are about 28 years old and a soon-to-be teacher, you shouldn't get hysterical so easily, I believe. My 4-year-old niece coulde handle her accident so much better when she broke her head (being 2... getting 2 stitches...). So my compassion soon turned into anger as she was crying and sobbing as if somebody was dying (and of course, she didn't even need any stitches as it wasn't serious at all); later my anger turned into amusement when she had a bandage on her head for the next three days... :)

Around noon, we entered another Etosha campsite which was the nicest one out of the three we visited. Unfortunately, we didn't stay there, we just had brunch there and relaxed for a while. We went to see the waterhole and were kinda lucky as there were 15 elephants refreshing themselves! With babies too! :)
Hmm, the day wasn't very eventful... We bought Magnums with Jill at that campsite and they were all melted so we went to get new ones... Not really an intersting story, I know. :)
The afternoon - another game drive, no lions again... We got to another campsite called Namutoni, which was the worst Etosha campsite we had seen and I don't think we even visited the waterhole there.
We had dinner, talked a bit, Jirka broke an electric socket :), jackals visited somebody's tent... And good night :)

PS: Pictures will come later :)